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Shame experienced over many years never goes away it only fades, waiting for a bit of plaster to peel off the wall, revealing what’s always been there.
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Once we have have fully unearthed our past, and to the best of our ability resolved our gay shame, there will always remain a shadow that trails behind us. What puts so many gay men on the defensive is possibly a single, unanswered question:ĭo you have the self-worth to allow yourself to believe you’re good enough and deserving, after years of believing you weren’t?
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We may still struggle with the challenge of forgiving homophobia when we are triggered to feel the shame of how we felt when we lived in the closet - that period of time in adolescence when we didn’t know how to overcome the guilt of both external and self-inflicted harm. Is Forgiveness of Homophobia a Gay Male Gift? LOP030 Now we know better we have our own minds, and we can forge a new path. We did not mean to intentionally hurt ourselves.Īs adults, as gay men living outside of the closet, we can learn to forgive homophobia as a way to accept that what happened to us lives in the past.
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We have to forgive ourselves for how we mistreated our authentic identity - we were forced, without the ability to discern otherwise, the lies that convinced us we were somehow abnormal, or sinner in the eyes of some random god. Gay men can lead humanity with a new model of forgiveness through their own self-exploration of gay shame and internalized homophobia, evolving as men who understand and embrace the dichotomy of masculine and feminine energies.įor many gay men we had to learn how to forgive ourselves when we first came out of the closet. Forgiveness and Self-Acceptance Start with Understanding Our Gay Shame.įorgiveness allows you to live in the now, to have the self-worth to be able to let go of your past and all the transgressions you may have suffered - but not to condone or forget the actions of others.